Take What You Are Handed

So this week we had a little "goodie" bag of stuff that we had to hand out for work. (I put goodie in quotes, because as someone pointed out to me, if it doesn't have candy can you really call it a goodie bag?) I thought that this would be easy and maybe even a little fun. Well giving them to customers was taking to long so we decided to walk the store around and hand them out to random people.

I thought this would go quickly and smoothly because the bags had a good size sample of sunblock. Now I am talking nice sun block, the fancy name brand kind that doesn't even smell like sunblock. Who wouldn't want that? Well the answer is pretty much everyone.

This very sample.

I was falbbergasted for two reasons. One, who doesn't want a free sample? I mean it is free and you get something? In this case something useful!, after all it is summer and UV safety month. I seriously go out of my way for free samples. I take them from stores, sign up for them online, and buy products that come with extra mini items. I even try things I know that I won't like and take things I won't use, and end up giving a ton of tiny samples to the thrift shop like once a year. It may appear to be a waste, but what if I find something life changing in a sample that I never would have bought otherwise??? Anyway, these people kept turing me down even with the incentive of my nice sunblock sample.

The second reason why I was shocked was that I was actively trying to get people take these stupid bags. I was making eye contact and smiling and and talking up a storm, but still I was shut down. Again I am not sure why people were putting up with all of my talking and listening to my whole speech before saying no. Why not just take my little bag and keep on your way? When someone hands me something, I just accept it and keep walking. Why listen when you can just grab and go? You can always toss it later.

I think by the end of four years at the U, I had about 17 little green New Testaments, 9,000 Amnestiy International flyers, and more band promos then I could count. (Vegas was even worse with the "hot nude girls" flyers. I think I had an entire rain forest of them by the end of my trip)



But these folks I was attempting to give to are not like me at all. . Either I take more crap than most people or those hander-outers at the U are true professionals and I have a thing or two to learn.



Space Jam Does Not Equal Van Halen

So I feel like once a week I am caught doing something embarrassing by a stranger. This always leads to me gushing out an explanation which probably only makes me seem crazy. This happened to me at work last Tuesday.

So there I was trying to sell some glasses, but it was a slow day. I decided to crank up the Pandora jams and do some cleaning. For the last three weeks we have only been listening to the Bruno Mars station because we have configured it to only play 80's tunes, Blurred Lines, and Happy from Despicable Me 2. Needless to say it is a rocking good time.

One of the songs it likes to play about every twenty minutes is Van Halen's Jump! Now normally I am a fan of this song. I mean it is pretty solid while you want to dance around and dust shelves. However, for whatever reason when I heard the opening of the song on Tuesday, I got really excited because I thought it was the theme song to the 1996 film Space Jam(staring Michael Jordan and Bugs Bunny).

Now I am not sure why I thought it was Space Jam or why I thought that Pandora would play the theme song to a 90's animated film. To be honest, I don't even know what the theme song sounds like, I just have vague recollections of saying "Welcome to the space jam, SPACE JAM" over and over again. Regardless, every time I heard Jump! that night I would get super excited and dash back there. Time and time again my hopes were dashed when it turned out to be Jump!

This is Space Jam

This is Jump!

Not the same thing.

Now after about the fifth time this occurred I was sick of getting my heart broken, so I wrote myself a little note to remind me that Space Jam would not be playing. Why I ever thought it would be playing is still questionable, but I needed this note to remind me anyway.

This is my Post-It. Yes I did start to spell remember wrong, but that is a hard word.

So I stuck my post it on the computer and went about my business. About an hour later, a customer comes in to get some contacts and I am talking to them by the computer. Mid conversation they turn their head and get a weird look on their face. I follow the direction of their eyes, and realize that they can see my little note. I immediately turn beet red.

Customer: Does that say Space Jam?

Me: Yes...

Customer: Did you write that?

Me: Yes.BeacusePandorakeptplayingJump!andIkeptthinkingitwasSpaceJamandIwouldgetexcitedbutthenitwasneverSpaceJamsoIwrotethatnote,butIalsospelledrememberwrong.

Of course they didn't understand what I was talking about and the fact that I said all of that in the space of five seconds probably didn't help. I tried to explain myself again a little slower and a little more thoroughly hoping that it would come off as humorous, but by that time they seemed pretty convinced I was nuts.

I guess the moral of this story is that Space Jam does not equal Van Halen and that I should not leave my notes to myself anywhere that other people can see them.

I feel like this only happens to me.