That Time I Watched Casper and it Got Weird

Some friends and I are planning a "childhood faves" movie marathon. So far on the docket we have, A Goofy Movie, Jumanji, and Wild America. While I love these movies, I am both excited and a little nervous.

Why would kids movies make me nervous? Good question. You see a few years ago I was at my grandparents house and noticed they had a VHS copy of Casper. Of course I decided to watch it.

Casper was definitely in my top ten favorite movies growing up. There are many reasons why including ; how awesome that house was, that scene where the uncles are eating but the food just falls through them, but more than anything, how hot alive Casper was at the end of the movie.

I mean seriously as a child I would wish on every shooting star that a ghost as friendly and cute as Casper would be my BFF. (Never happened). Seriously he says "Can I keep you?" Ten year old me swooned. 

I literally watched our copy of the tape until it wore out.  So the last time I had watched the movie , I was probably 11. 

Now let's fast forward to 20 year old me watching it at my grandparents house.

First of all, the movie was wayyyyyyy more depressing than I recalled. Child Heather didn't really pontificate on the fact that he was the ghost of a kid. Heavy stuff. But the most shockingly different part of the movie was Casper aka Devon Sawa shows up at the Halloween party. 

I was super excited. This was always my favorite part of the movie! Time for hot hot Casper! 

What I didn't think about was that he was hot hot Casper when I was 10. And although I had aged appropriately, the actors on the PREVIOUSLY RECORDED FILM had not changed. 

So there I was 20 years old looking at 12 year old Devon feeling let down, shocked and confused. It was a childhood memory killer. (I looked it up, I know that Sawa was actually 17, but his character was 12 and seriously he did not look 17!) 

Ever since then I have been apprehensive about watching my other childhood faves. Am I know too old for Benny "the Jet" Rodriguez? Rufio? Mimi-Siku?  Would all of those fond memories be ruined too? 

Probably shouldn't chance it. 

How I Accidentally May Have Convinced the Target Cashier I am Pregnant

As always my life seems like I am the star of my own telenovela, at least from the inside. I was standing in my regular check out at Target the other day (the Target I work in) buying a maternity tank top when I realized that over the last few months my purchases look a little suspicious when strung together. Let's back it up.

Working in a Target seems to have one advantage for all of my friends; because I am already at the store I can buy all of the things they are too embarrassed to purchase for themselves. I am like the middle man of embarrassing products. If anyone who knows me even a little is too self-conscious to purchase something, some how I ended up in line.

Here is the last few months.

Purchase One: For myself
Lubricant. It was just KY nothing fancy. I don't care who knows what I purchase or if I get it from the place I work,

Purchase Two:NOT FOR ME
Plan B. I had a friend who was in desperate need to skip a period and heard that Plan B would delay you for a bit. Said friend was too nervous to walk to the pharmacy and ask for one. Enter Heather. (BTW they are totally just on the shelf now  and you don't even have to ask the pharmacy staff the way I did, only to have them walk you over to the condom aisle).

Purchase Three: For myself

Pepto Bismol pills. Okay lets face it they were Up&Up Pink Tummy Pills because I am too cheap for name brand. If you have ever met me you know I have a questionable stomach at the best of times.

Purchase Four (A week or so after the Pink Tummy Pills): NOT FOR ME

A pregnancy test. My friend was not being the safest and was feeling a little funky so they needed to check it out! (Ps... the 20 packs of tests are for people trying to conceive, not whores. That took me longer than it should to figure out)

LACK OF PURCHASE: For myself.

Tampons. I bought that shit at Costco. I am set for life.

Purchase Five: NOT FOR ME

Maternity tank top. My co-worker just needed a longer tank top for her outfit, but I was on break so I went and grabbed a maternity one on the advice of our doctor because they are stretchy as hell.

Add that all up and you get one misleading story... My life. 

I am Concerned I Might be a Basic Bitch

The other day my friend posted a video to my Facebook. It was a College Humor video on, "How to Tell if you are a Basic Bitch." While it was super funny, it was a little concerning. 

They made fun of the girl's astrological tattoo (WHICH I HAVE), and that she loved scented candles (WHICH I DO) and that she owned Ugg boots (I DID YEARS AGO). HOLY SHIT AM I BASIC????

If you had asked me a week ago, I would have said I was a bad bitch I would have said "Fuck yeah bro"... But now I am not so sure.... Maybe being a bad bitch is just a basic delusion of mine. 

I have been trying to google what exactly a basic bitch is, however I can't figure out how turn off my Google safe search. The signs are not looking good. I will keep you updated on my soul searching journey.