Working in a Target seems to have one advantage for all of my friends; because I am already at the store I can buy all of the things they are too embarrassed to purchase for themselves. I am like the middle man of embarrassing products. If anyone who knows me even a little is too self-conscious to purchase something, some how I ended up in line.
Here is the last few months.
Purchase One: For myself
Lubricant. It was just KY nothing fancy. I don't care who knows what I purchase or if I get it from the place I work,
Purchase Two:NOT FOR ME
Plan B. I had a friend who was in desperate need to skip a period and heard that Plan B would delay you for a bit. Said friend was too nervous to walk to the pharmacy and ask for one. Enter Heather. (BTW they are totally just on the shelf now and you don't even have to ask the pharmacy staff the way I did, only to have them walk you over to the condom aisle).
Purchase Three: For myself
Pepto Bismol pills. Okay lets face it they were Up&Up Pink Tummy Pills because I am too cheap for name brand. If you have ever met me you know I have a questionable stomach at the best of times.
Purchase Four (A week or so after the Pink Tummy Pills): NOT FOR ME
A pregnancy test. My friend was not being the safest and was feeling a little funky so they needed to check it out! (Ps... the 20 packs of tests are for people trying to conceive, not whores. That took me longer than it should to figure out)
LACK OF PURCHASE: For myself.
Tampons. I bought that shit at Costco. I am set for life.
Purchase Five: NOT FOR ME
Maternity tank top. My co-worker just needed a longer tank top for her outfit, but I was on break so I went and grabbed a maternity one on the advice of our doctor because they are stretchy as hell.
Add that all up and you get one misleading story... My life.
Here is the last few months.
Purchase One: For myself
Lubricant. It was just KY nothing fancy. I don't care who knows what I purchase or if I get it from the place I work,
Purchase Two:NOT FOR ME
Plan B. I had a friend who was in desperate need to skip a period and heard that Plan B would delay you for a bit. Said friend was too nervous to walk to the pharmacy and ask for one. Enter Heather. (BTW they are totally just on the shelf now and you don't even have to ask the pharmacy staff the way I did, only to have them walk you over to the condom aisle).
Purchase Three: For myself
Pepto Bismol pills. Okay lets face it they were Up&Up Pink Tummy Pills because I am too cheap for name brand. If you have ever met me you know I have a questionable stomach at the best of times.
Purchase Four (A week or so after the Pink Tummy Pills): NOT FOR ME
A pregnancy test. My friend was not being the safest and was feeling a little funky so they needed to check it out! (Ps... the 20 packs of tests are for people trying to conceive, not whores. That took me longer than it should to figure out)
LACK OF PURCHASE: For myself.
Tampons. I bought that shit at Costco. I am set for life.
Purchase Five: NOT FOR ME
Maternity tank top. My co-worker just needed a longer tank top for her outfit, but I was on break so I went and grabbed a maternity one on the advice of our doctor because they are stretchy as hell.
Add that all up and you get one misleading story... My life.
